Topics in this episode:
- The pressure of not being salesy
- Menstrual cycles & the alternate reality we could be living in
- Rooting for you whether or not you work with me
- Not being the nicest person all the time (thoughts on skepticism)
- Generational wealth and its influence on marketing, especially in the coaching industry
- What it feels like to have a “good” mentor
- “Love and prayers” and positive boss babe vibes
- General encouragement for your bigger vision
- Advice for clarifying whether a mentor is a good fit for you.
- What to do when you’re frustrated when people don’t share their prices publicly
Welcome to a compassionate side hustle strategy hosted by me, Rochelle Sanchez. I'm a business designer and mindset coach and I help side hustling, solopreneurs like you quiet your inner drama and build compassionate systems that allow you to show up consistently and authentically in your business.
No matter what culture you were raised in, your current setbacks, economic status, or internal struggles, you deserve to do what you love for a living.
So let's go together! and find that next best step for you on your business journey.
Let’s talk about sales pressure. Or rather, taking some of the “sales pressure” off.
There’s something I keep as a personal philosophy that I didn’t learn or adopt from someone else along the way.
You know how most of the time, we’re just regurgitating what we’ve been taught, because we were taught that it’s the best way to say or be or do the things?
Well, this came from me just reflecting on the feedback that I’ve gotten from other people, so, I encourage you to pay attention to what people tend to tell you about yourself.
My thing is that at some point I realized and I finally accepted that I’m deeply caring person. You can call it empathy, or kindness, or whatever you want. I’ve been told that I’m “so nice.” I had a therapist tell me that I’m an excellent caretaker. I guess I just like to help people and I never considered it an outstanding trait to pay attention to.
It seems a little silly to see this as something I needed to accept about myself, because obviously the world wants more caring people, right?
In my experience, not really. Right now I’m 38 years old and I’ve found that a lot of the world we live in, or that I live in, wants us to be productive and efficient. With feelings emotions as something we reserve for feelings and emotions time.
For example, take menstrual cycles. It’s typically taboo to talk about them or bring them up at all, right? Because you’re being over emotional?
That’s the culture I’m talking about. Because in an alternative reality where our society might have been built based on the menstrual 28 day cycle instead of the typical, masculine 24 hour cycle, we would all be more aware of how we’re feeling, and how we’re being affected by things today, this week, next week, compared to previous weeks.
It turns out that caring what people are going through, not just whether they’re hanging in there and scraping by, but actually, genuinely caring and offering to help and checking in regularly for support is something that sets me apart from other people. I had to have it pointed out to me because not everyone is like me.
And what was nice about that was that when I embraced it, I realized how much my natural personality influences my sales style.
When I put myself out there to help people, I’m not putting hard core pressure on myself to sell you something.
I have this inner truth, that, if I’m helping you or we’re on a call and you’re not my client, I am rooting for you whether or not you end up working with me.
I really am.
And honestly? Okay, look. It’s okay if you don't believe me.
Because keep in mind that I’m not always the nicest person. I have plenty of moments where I judge people and judge myself.
There’s plenty of room and reason for skepticism and caution, and you have good reason to be skeptical and cautious, too.
In fact, there was a time I thought if I had any doubts, or I was holding myself back from completely believing some well-known influencer or expert on the internet, that it was a mark of inexperience.
Or "a mindset problem," if I ever felt skeptical.
And unfortunately I wasted a lot of money trying to be more open minded than I already was. I’m talking thousands of dollars in cash, in credit card debt, in personal loans, trying to prove that I value… whatever it is. You know, it’s the phrase of “people value what they pay for.” So in a lot of ways, many of the investments I’ve made in my business were me trying to prove how serious I was, because again, that’s what we’re taught to believe in western culture.
You care based on how much time or energy you put into something. You care based on how much money you invest. And neither of those are true, of course, but it’s not obvious unless you learn it for yourself.
Luckily, I’ve come to learn over the years that it’s just the messaging we get, at least here in the United States. It’s capitalism. It’s white, privileged people with generational wealth putting forward that idea that you’re more committed or serious about whatever it you’re doing if you have money to spend and also if you spend it.
And I say, let’s let that go, shall we?
Because you know what? Building and scaling a business is hard. And yes, you do eventually need to trust people and accept help. But no, it doesn’t always have to be in the form of paying thousands of dollars as proof that you’re serious.
I’m lucky to have crossed paths with good, trustworthy mentors and peers in the entrepreneur space. People who have been through the ringer and have successful, long-term businesses. The folks who would never expect me to invest in services if I wasn’t ready, either personally, emotionally, or financially.
You know you’ve made a fellow entrepreneur friend or found a good mentor when they hold space for your lived experience and the emotions and feelings you’re having right now.
That’s because they've felt all of it, too.
And if you come from community that has been historically marginalized, discriminated against, left out, or maybe completely ignored by the mainstream media and social narrative (and you know, most of recorded history), then building and scaling your business might be even harder in comparison to other people’s business journeys.
For now, anyway.
People are waking up. People are starting to get involved instead of staying neutral.
People are using their money and influence to talk about bigger, deeper things.
More people are starting to use their wealth for good.
We're taking action in hopes that we'll change something that's wrong about the world. For example, corporate capitalist culture, systemic racism, equal access to education, take your pick.
Maybe it's just my algorithm, but it seems like the love-and-light, positive vibe, boss babe dream is finally starting to get swapped out and personally? I’m glad to see it. It’s all fake anyway.
That's why I'm rooting for you, whether or not you work with me.
Because I know you have a bigger vision, and you're here to do some amazing work. And you’re allowed to have your bad days, keep your healthy skepticism, and bootstrap when it serves you better than throwing your credit card at the influencer whose ads keep following you all over Instagram.
I want your mission-driven business to succeed even we never move money from your bank account to mine.
Whether or not I’m part of your mission is out of my control, really, and I’m okay with that.
Sure, it would be nice, but that's not the point of either of us doing what we do.
So keep that in mind. And also keep in mind that I’m not the only business coach, designer, or strategist who feels this way.
There are people who genuinely want to help, who aren’t scammers, who don’t have some ulterior motive.
If you ever have any doubts, I recommend clarifying getting on a call with a potential mentor or contractor if you think they may be the high-pressure type.
In fact, for my own investments in my business, I always send an email or DM to the person I’m considering working with BEFORE I schedule a call with them. If I’m nervous about being pressured to invest more than I can comfortably invest within my budget, I say something along the lines of, “Would you mind sharing your price range of your services? I’m interested, but I want to be respectful of both of our time and energy before I book a call with you.”
And you know what? I’d say about 90% of the time that has worked. Mostly because for most of the people I consider hiring, I already spent plenty of time looking at their work, watching their videos, and figuring out for myself whether I want to work with them. I’ve had a couple of times where they ignored my request and just sent me their canned response to hop on a call to discuss options, and whenever that happened I considered it a sign that they’re not the person for me.
Go figure, asking for consent is helpful and clarifies your next steps!
It feels more gentle. And definitely a whole lot safer than getting on a blind call with someone who’s highly trained in sales psychology and whose job is to get me to say “Yes.”
I encourage you to do the same with any large investment you might make in your business in future, whether it’s in working with me or with someone else.
That’s me message for you, today. Remember: keep going!
Reach out if you want my help.
Reach out to others, as well.
We are in this together, and yes, I’m rooting for you. See you next time.
Compassionate Side Hustle Strategy is sponsored by Gentle Momentum.
What if you had someone to help you navigate both the inner drama AND the back end operational stuff that comes with running your business?
What if you never felt overextended, rushed, bullied, or pressured into doing things for your business that just aren't your thing?
Gentle Momentum is a hybrid coach-in-your-pocket mentorship and accountability system designed to help ambitious, mission-driven solopreneurs just like you, stay on track and focused.
It's exactly what it sounds like: a program designed to help you generate momentum in your business!
To learn more, visit Rochelle Sanchez dot com and click on the "Work with me" button.