Episode 6 – Exhaustion, Injustice, Your Inner Child, and Re-Framing Your Longterm Business Goals

Hey everybody, welcome to the self employed nerd. My name is Rochelle and this show is for you if you identify in some way with the idea of being a self employed nerd. So if you have kind of a side business going on, or you just spend maybe and an abnormal amount of time amount, imagining that your life was something different, then I'm here to help you out.

But I think that part of the journey and part of becoming a successful business owner, because that's ultimately what we're becoming right. Part of that is just realizing that the journey is not easy.

Okay, I will admit that right now that it does get hard. And that shouldn't deter you from even trying, because I mean, like life is hard, right? And yet, we try to live life to the fullest, and we make the most of it. And we have a really good time, if we allow ourselves to. And so keep that mindset in mind when you're building out this, this business of yours, this idea.

And keep also in mind that this may be the first of like multiple businesses or side hustle or just passion projects that you're working on. And so try not to pressure yourself too much. But also keep in mind that this is a long game, and that you have people here to help you. So welcome.

I actually had to take a break last week, because I've just been going through, you know, you have those phases of your life, or maybe your cycle or whatever it is, I don't know, do we have some kind of unknown quarterly cycle that I don't know about?

Because we have like our daily cycles and our monthly cycles. And sometimes it feels like I'm just doing living the same patterns over and over which I'm sure like, all of my life coaches, friends will be like, "Yes, you are!"

But um, yeah, I'm just going through one of those things where I'm like, well, it's not the depression full fully coming back. But it's also very similar. And there are lots of things going on with me and lots of relationships getting getting rearranged, which I embrace, right? Because we can't, as we're growing, and as we're changing, our relationships are going to change, and we're going to meet new people. And we're going to be surrounded by different people who are more like the kind of person that we want to be rather than the kind of people that are, in reality, kind of holding us back.

And so I'm going through that right now and realizing all the while that every time. I don't know, this is this is a good problem to have.

But every time I start worrying about Okay, when's the next sale going to come from? Do I need to launch something? Do I need to shift directions? is this? Is this the kind of thing where I just need to keep going for the next eight weeks? And it'll work out? Or is this a sign that I need to change things around? And I've kind of been erring on the side of I think I kind of know what I'm doing. And I think that it's I think it's working? Which I don't know, depending on how how well you know me, that might be the most annoying thing to ever hear someone say when they're like, "Oh, look, you know, I didn't know if this would work. And now I just made $2,000," or whatever it is.

Just like certain people, when you hear them say that you're like, whatever. And then you click it off.

And you're like, yeah, you don't know what my problems are.

But anyway, that's like the kind of stuff that I'm going through right now where I'm second guessing myself, but then also having major Wake Up Calls, like no, I really, really know what I'm doing. But on top of that, I do feel like I'm learning that I know what I'm doing. And also, I don't know a damn thing. Like, I don't know anything about anything, the more that I grow, and the more that I make mistakes, and I pick myself up, and I figure out what kind of person I really am versus what kind of person I am having a gut reaction to.

If that makes sense, the more that I I lean into that and kind of observe myself, it's, I just know that everything I'm learning, I'm probably gonna have to unlearn it pretty soon. And it's good to have really, really strong opinions.

But at the same time, I'm like, I don't know, probably, I still have some growing to do, which we all do. And just keeping that in mind that everything that I'm sure of, I'm sure I've for a reason. But I'm also sure that I'm going to be proven wrong and change my mind later. Because that's how we evolve, right?

We're never really 100% on board only on this one side of any kind of situation, or problem. And that's what we need to learn about ourselves.

So this has been really interesting for me the last couple of months, kind of going up and down and trusting myself and then worrying for no reason. And then up and down and around we go. So what are we talking about today?

Today, I've got a clip for you from some live streams that I did. Well, it's only one of them. But it's a live streaming that I did, that's a little reminder of what it is that you're signing up for. Because a lot of people think, Okay, I'm going to start a business. And I thought of this product, and I'm going to put it out there. And I really need you to help me strategize and launch it and make a ton of money with it. And I'm like, okay, that's great. Because that is what a business is, right? We're here to make money so that we can use that money for good, go ahead and change the world and do some amazing things. And at this moment, our world kind of revolves around money. And so we're just kind of working with that current situation that we have.

But at the same time, your business, when it comes down to it, it's a little deeper than that, right? You are trying to make a difference. Probably on some level, you are, you know, launching your service, you have put together this product, you're trying to scale the business that you have, or you know, something along those lines, because of some kind of injustice in the world.

So for me, I mean, it doesn't even have to be huge and life changing. And it doesn't have to like feed everybody on the planet.

But for me, for example, the injustice that I I mostly think of is people who are emotionally abused in the workplace, they're overworked, they are basically abused in that they're ordered to do too many things. And they're made to feel like they don't matter, and that the bottom line and the company that they work for, and, you know, just their their ROI to the whole corporate structure is what matters more than their actual human life. And so that is the injustice that I pretty much base all of my passion on because I know it.

I know it, I've been in it. I know people who are currently in it. And for a lot of people who are trying to leave their day jobs, that is the problem that they have, you know, it's the whole thing of people don't quit their jobs, they quit their bosses.

And so that is the injustice that I'm working on for myself and for all of you.

And for you, the injustice might be something bigger might be something smaller might be like there just aren't enough resources for the type of clients that you want to serve.

And so keeping in mind that you're here for the long haul is really important. So I do have a little clip here for you to listen to, that talks about a different way to look at this because yes, we don't, yes, we want to launch. A

nd yes, we want to have a strategy and do all the like kind of nitty gritty things. But at the same time, you do have to think about the long term mission. And the fact that this business of yours, whether it stays in its current form, or you evolve it into something else, or you launch this one, and then it takes off, and then you launch another one and that takes off, and you become a serial entrepreneur, we have to keep in mind that you are doing this for the long term.

And this is just a really good way to remind yourself of that fact, because we can get ahead of ourselves, if we don't know, we're super creative. And we're really passionate. And we can just kind of run away, especially if you're just getting started, it's easy to run away with your own ideas and say, Oh, and I have another idea. And I have another idea. And then we're going to do this other idea. And pretty soon you have like seven fabulous starter, starter ideas.

And none of them are making money and none of them are actually fully launched.

And so listen to this, and let me know what you think. And I'll catch you up the clip.

Just a reminder, to have a little bit more compassion with yourself!

Because being self employed and starting a business and keeping at it week after week, even if you think you're crazy, and even if like nothing's going right. And you're wondering why the heck you dedicated all this time and this energy in this money and all this, you know, everything invested into your business, a little reminder to have a little bit of compassion for yourself.

Like Imagine if you met a little kid, and the little kid told you that they have this dream of helping all these people, and they wanted to make a difference.

And show the world that you don't have to be mean, you don't have to be a bully, and there's no reason to hate anybody and to hurt anybody. And then they asked to, you know, like invest their allowance into this idea or this project, like you would, you would probably be like super, super supportive. Like I don't think anyone would actually ever, ever say no to that, you know that if a child wants to do good work in the world, and invest all their time and money.

And I just want to remind you that you are still a child.

I'm willing to like, I'm willing to bet a certain amount of money, that you are probably the same kind of compassionate person that you that you are now.

Like, right now you want to help people, you want to make a difference, you want to make a change, and you're like, you know what, it starts with me, I'm just going to do it.

And so like, you probably had that idea long before you started Googling how to start a business right before you started Googling how to start a blog, or how to make a course, or you started following certain people who teach marketing things, you probably already have that personality trait in you.

And so I want to remind you, that you're still that kid, you're still that kid who did those things.

Like Think back to your childhood, you did a lot of nice things where people didn't you. So think back to it. And remember that you're still that person, like you're still you, you're still innocent, in your own way, you're still very open hearted, very loving, you still do those very like adorable things that little kids do. And it's still you.

So just remember that you don't have to be so hard on yourself, you're still kind of a child in the business realm. So like you're still learning things, you're still trying to walk and you're falling over. And you're getting frustrated and throwing a tantrum every once in a while. But you're still that kind of person, right? So remember that very compassionate, loving piece of you that is willing to learn so that you can do good things in the world.

And remember that you're going to be doing this 20 years from now, okay, this is not, you know, this already, right?

This is not a get rich quick, just so you can make all the money and have all the money in the world.

That's not why we do this. We're doing this because we want to make a difference. And so remember that, like the world is still going to need your help in 20 years, you get me, you don't have to have everything figured out this month, this quarter. And and be like, I have to get everything together or else I'm going to quit. And I'm going to forget it. And I'm just going to go back to my day job that I never want to go back to. Okay, you're going to be doing this for the next 20 years. Like what is your age right now?

And what is your age going to be in 20 years?

What is your age? What is the age of your children?

What is the age of your parents, if they're still alive?

Add 20 years to that and then just just be okay with the fact that you're still going to be doing what you're doing in two decades.

Okay, that is how real this is getting.

And, you know, I promise that if you just give yourself more time, be a little more patient and know that things are going at some things are going to take like three years to figure out and I'm going to talk right, I've been doing this full time now for three years, almost three years. Two more, two more months, three more months, until it's like fully, "Well, I was crazy, exactly three years ago."

But like, there are a lot of things that you can learn, and you never stop learning.

And that's really part of the reason why this kind of culture in this lifestyle appeals to you so much, right?

So just breathe.

Be okay with it.

Be okay with the fact that it's going to take a long time because it's worth it.

Right?

Deep down, you know that this is worth it, the things that you learn the wonderful people that you come in contact with on the internet, the fact that you've proven that there's this whole network of self employed people, and really fun people and all these people who like, are deep thinkers just like you, they're all over the internet and you found them.

So like, that's just the, that's just the beginning of it, you guys. So just embrace it, know that it's gonna take a while, be kind to yourself, and I promise you're going to be okay. Okay, as long as you just keep those things in mind, and you've come at this in the most loving way possible, I swear, I can can't say that enough. Just be as loving as possible to yourself, while you're figuring figuring all of this stuff out. And while you are just being as as good of a person as you can possibly be, because that's what you want to do.

And everything will turn out okay, I promise.

Okay, so that's your reminder today, let me know if this resonates with you.

And if you can remind someone else of it, okay, so you don't have to comment or you don't have to like and you don't have to do nothing on this, you, you can just take what you learned, and then go off and remind someone else that it's going to be okay, because that's I think that's what we need right now. Alright, so I hope that that helped you a little bit today and that you're going to be a little bit easier on yourself because you know what, you are important, your work is making a difference.

And although you can likely already name like a dozen unexpected hiccups and total, (you know, let's let's just say a little bit stronger than a hiccup right?) that have happened along the way, while you've been trying to put together this business that they swore would just be easy in like 15 minutes a day. And then you would be making five figures, whatever it is that you were promised.

Just take a breath, okay? You need to take care of yourself, if you want to keep this up for the long term, and it will take time.

But the nice thing is that I can tell you right now, it can be an amazing process in the meantime. And if you keep up the right kind of self care and the right intentions, then you'll find that they there is actually no finish line. Like the work that you're doing is the reward in itself.

And the people that you're surrounding yourself with are the people that you want to help that you believe in, whose work that you admire, that kind of thing.

So keep at it. And don't give up on yourself. All right?

Transcribed by https://otter.ai