What if picking a “Word of the Year” doesn’t work for you?

January 7, 2020

Episode Transcript

Welcome to the self employed nerd, a mindset and marketing podcast to help budding entrepreneurs just like you, stay focused, productive, and profitable as you navigate this crazy roller coaster lifestyle of being self employed. Let's get started. Hey everybody, it's Rochelle. Welcome back. Happy new year. If you're not listening to these episodes, like if you found this episode in the search, or if you're not really listening while I'm producing them and putting them out, then I guess it's not really new year for you. But, um, right now it's January 3rd as I'm recording this and it's the beginning of 2020 and I am so relieved. Because I fall into that category of people who had just like an awful 2019 and I will admit that I am mature enough to at least like acknowledge that I needed it. You know, it's not like I'm saying, Oh my gosh, the world is out to get me. The world is evil. Nobody cares. And everything bad always happens to me and all that stuff. Cause like, I don't know, you probably know a few people who have that attitude and they're just like, they kind of expect things to always go well. And so, you know, like I can, I can admit that it really, really sucked. But I also know that it was necessary and I can see how much I grew from it and I can see how it. How much, I don't know. I don't want to say like the pain was needed or anything like that, but I would definitely say that that was like one of the worst years of my life. And, um, I'm glad that I can laugh about it now because obviously things have picked up. Um, thanks to, you know, hard work, uh, lots of self care, lots of rusting. Lots of therapy, lots of personal development and reading, self help books and journaling and just doing everything I possibly could because I knew even, you know, when I was in those low moments, that life isn't always like this. I know by default that I tend to be an optimist and it's really, really hard when I get stuck into in one of those phases where it's just like, wow, life really sucks right now. But I think it. First of all, it, it gets easier with age. So I'm so thankful that I am the ripe old age of 36 now. I'm like, you know, at first I was, I wasn't feeling it. I think I had like for the first time in my life, a little bit of anxiety over getting to this age, which isn't even a big deal. Like what, 36 who cares? But for some reason I just, you know, wasn't, wasn't feeling it. For the first time ever, and probably because I had an entire year of bad things happening to me, but. You know, I, I'm actually enjoying it and now I'm like, you know what? I'm like old and wise now I know what I'm, I know things. I've been alive for a long time and it's, it's super cool. So I'm grateful to 2019 for being there and the challenging me and for all of the help that I got and all the growth that I did, but I seriously, I'm like, okay, moving on, people moving on because I'm, I'm so over it. So anyway, happy new year, happy 2020 and I thought that it might be appropriate for me to share a little bit about what's been going on, because again, if you haven't, you know, been waiting for these episodes, then you have noticed. But there's a huge time gap between last episode in this episode. And so partly because obviously I had a rough year, but also because. I dunno, it's, it's kind of funny because I'm teaching this productivity stuff. I teach systems. I know how to really get the job done when people hire me to be on their team. So like I can put it all together. I can, I can make trainings, I can, you know, train other people and we can have a whole system churning along just fine. But of course, when you're a business owner, it's so ironic that the thing that you usually help people with. Is the thing that you struggle with for yourself. It's just so odd and it's so common, but it's really, really weird. I'm like, shouldn't I be good at this? Like, shouldn't I be really great at being productive and getting all the pieces together and hiring people and just being like, okay, we're done. Let's move on. Let's move on. But it's just one of those things when it's inside your own head, when it's your own baby, when it's your own business, then it's going to be, it's just one of those things. So. I needed to get a little bit organized and I also needed to rest like I needed a heck of a lot of rest over the holidays. And so I did that. I went ahead and told myself, you know what, it's a new podcast. No one. I'm, I have a few people waiting on episodes and I totally appreciate you. I know you, you've told me. Thank you for that. Um, but you know, and, and I know that you understand that sometimes we need to take breaks, but I am, I, I just needed to take a break and not have one of those businesses where I'm one person doing a ton of things all by myself. And while I was going through this like tough phase in fall of 2019, I was like, you know what? Either I bring on people to do this for me. And I wasn't willing to do that because it was like holiday season. And I'd rather, honestly, I'd rather spend my money on people and gifts than on myself, which is good or bad depending on what we're talking about. But I decided, you know, the, the only way that I can simplify things is just to let things go. And the podcast was one of those things. But I'm back and I'm really excited because I don't know, this year is just feeling good and I. I feel like it's good in a way that is not, it's not one of those forced things cause I don't know about you, but sometimes when it's a particular phase of the year, especially if you're doing online marketing, you're trying to think of content and you're trying to kind of like stay current. It can, it can be easy to say, well, this time of year is when people are doing this and therefore I should share something that's related to, you know, making yourself new, picking of the word of the year, picking a new goal, setting up a new vision board and things like that. And I'm like, I love that stuff usually, but I think I'm just going to have to be honest with myself that the last couple of years. Couple of two or three years, I think I've chosen a word of the year and they never work out. Like I, good man. They never work for me. And so this year I'm not choosing a word. I do have a few phrases and I have a few things that I'm just kind of keeping up on my walls and on my phone, wallpaper and things like that where I'm trying to keep myself focused on like the kind of life. I want to have him look for kind of person I want to be this year. But I think the word of the year thing just doesn't work for me. So last year my word was delightful and I love that word. I really do. And of course everyone, it was like totally the opposite of delightful. I probably only had like one moment of delight the entire year, which is terrible. Like. Honestly, that's not good when you have a word and it's delightful and you really want to surround yourself with delight and joy in fantastic things. And I don't know, delightful is kind of a stretch because nobody really uses that word in everyday language. And so I used it and it was lovely, and I had it on a beautiful leather bracelet and everything like that, but shoot, it did not work. And then I think the year before that, my word was brilliant. Into two ways of looking at it with our brilliance, as in like, I'm super smart or brilliant as in I'm shining a light for other people, which is like beautiful in a poetic sense, but not. Not easy to implement. And so I'm like, you know what? For 2020 I'm just going to admit that I don't know how to integrate a word into my everyday being my everyday life. And I know that I, you know, I've got some like really brilliant friends who know how to do this, who are experts in mindset, who are like the best at just. Really, you know, like embedding this word into your life and following through with it. But I'm like, I dunno when I've picked a word, I end up just waiting for it and it never, I don't know, either I missed it or I just, I'm missing something. But decided this year, not to go with a single word, but I'm keeping things to inspire me. So one of them is, uh, a phrase that I got from go fit Joe. On Instagram and she is someone who actually lives nearby. I haven't met her, but I like following her, her Instagram feed because she. You know how you have those people that you follow and you're like, that's, you know, they're like living my dream life. Even though you know that, you know, Instagram feeds our Instagram feeds and so they're curated and there's branding behind it and everything like that. But like when I need kind of a taste of that luxurious future lifestyle at Rochelle is going to have one day. I always care stuff because I'm like in another, in another world, that would be me. But anyway. Um, the nice thing about having people that you admire on Instagram and being able to like interact with them and just enjoy the blessings of social media is that you get to comment and then they actually respond. And so I saw one of her posts, I can't remember for the life of me, what the actual photo is, which is ironic because it was Instagram, but this tells you. How powerful actual discussions and words are on Instagram versus just trying to get your branding colors to match and getting your green grid off all like perfect. And, but she had posted something about how she was allowing herself to take up more space. And then I responded to someone else who had commented on her post. And, um, by the way, that's a good tactic. Like just to. Join the conversation, not to expect everyone to be on your own feed. Like I don't really expect anyone who would comment on my stuff, but I will go into the discussion feeds of other Instagram profiles and talk to people on those profiles. So the people who are actually commenting, not leaving, not just leaving my own comment, but responding to other people who have commented. It's really cool. And this is one of those cases where I did that with someone who was, who had commented, I can't remember what they had said, but they were like really hit hard by her caption. And it was cool because I responded, no, I totally agreed with what they were saying, what they were agreeing with. And I said that in Joe's original caption. She had said, I'm taking up more space. And for some reason that phrase just like really resonated with me. And so I had responded to this person, said like, Oh, that phrase, you know, take up more space. Just hit me so hard. And then Jo herself responded and tagged me and said. Yeah. My, my username is Rochelle Satch. So it just, it was just a very simple comment. I'm sure that she did this for like a lot of people, but it's just one of those things where if you actually take the time to interact with people who are on your feeds and who are discussing things than it, it's meaningful. Right. For me. Her acknowledging me and tagging me in a comment is it was a big deal, obviously. And so all she said was Rochelle Satch take up more space, period. And I'm like, Oh, it's, it's really cool to have someone that you admire, just kind of tell you. Just say it like it is like just take up more space. So maybe not, not a word for this year, but just that theme of taking up more space and being bigger and going bigger. It's just working for me. So that's mine. If you have a word or a phrase or something that you're kind of focusing on for the year of 2020 I'd love to hear about it. If you can find me on Instagram, I'm at Rochelle Sanje and I'd love to know what your word is, or if you want to do a video or do an Instagram story or something like that, go ahead and tag me in it. I want to see it because you know, however it is that you approached this year. I want you to really step into it because we don't, I don't know. The world is changing you guys. We just, we just need more people speaking up and doing good work and helping one another out in a, so it's, it's important. Anything that you have in your heart and anything that you're planning on doing or that you want to do, do it now. Honestly, we don't, we don't have a whole lot of time, and I know that it's not, it's not like we should be acting in a place of scarcity. Like we're running out of time, we're running out of options. But if it's important to you, then it's important to the world and someone else is waiting for it. Okay? So, so go for it. Pick something, run with it, and make sure that you're. Surrounding yourself with the kinds of people that you know are going to hold space for you and aren't going to force you to do anything that isn't like aligned with what you have in mind for your faith, for yourself, for your family, for your life. It's really important. Seriously. Okay. So I have, um, I've been doing a lot of, just like transitioning into the new year, I have a few exercises that I decided to, um, to go ahead and try out. One of them. Is from, uh, one of my favorite people, Marie Forleo. She has a book that I read last, last year that was like, awesome. She, she had just published it. It's called everything is figureoutable and I dunno, it's just one of those things where like, everyone has a book these days, right? So it's hard. It's hard for me to not be like, I just read this book. Everyone should read this book. I just read this other book. And everyone should read that book too, because we only have so much time to be reading books. And at the same time, reading is great for you, but it also keeps you sitting and looking at a piece of paper versus out there and doing what you're great at. And so you kind of have to find your own balance. But, um, she's, she's one of the people that I can sit her up like. Mentor from afar. And she did this, uh, video series. It's part of her podcasts and part of her, um, online show, Marie TV. And it's basically a wrap up. So looking at your decade from 2010 to 2020 and then like writing yourself a really nice letter. Of what the, the 2030 version of you has to say and like that their advice. And so there's a, there's obviously like all this stuff that you do up, up to that point, this point. But I did want to read my letter to you because I thought it was just, it's interesting whenever I, when I actually take the time to like look back on what I'm on, what I've done, and to speak to myself. In future tense or past tense or whatever it is, it's always really powerful. And so I just want to acknowledge this for myself and also let you know that, um, maybe you need a letter from future. Rochelle, you definitely need a letter from fruit future you. Um, but this letter that I wrote to myself as Rochelle at age 46 is, um. I dunno. It's pretty powerful for me. So I'm going to read it for you, and I want this message to be something that you can use for yourself. And obviously if you can't, if you can, if you've got time, you have time. If you want to do it, then you'll find the time. Right? Um, then I recommend doing the decade and review that Marie Forleo hosted a link to it in the show notes and in the description. But here's my letter. And at the top it says, what 2030 Rochelle wants me to know. So this is Rochelle at each 46 looking back at me now, having experienced the kind of 2019 that I did, and knowing that I do want to get better, I am getting better, but I'm, I am. Ah, I dunno. There's always that hesitancy, right? So here we go. Here's my letter. Dearest Michelle, I'd love you to know that you are so motherfucking badass already under underlined already. You have it all inside you and you Seely. I know. It seems like you have a lot of work to do, a lot of groaning to do, but, but, but, but, but, but you're good. Seriously, your emotional maturity and self awareness are level 100 already. And you're literally just pretending you're small beans. You are amazing. You worry too much. You are protected against all those make-believe haters that honestly you're never going to meet. I'd love you to know that there's nothing, no reason to be afraid. You're a natural. You couldn't fuck up your life if you tried. I'd love you to start telling more people what you're passionate about. Be open about it. Ask more questions, be openly curious and allow people to talk about themselves. I'd love you to start batching your podcasts and letting that fire burn. Do them when you're fired up and yelling already. I'd love you to start going to the gym every day. Remember that you feel hot when you're dressed well. And you show quickly and remember that it's okay to love being hot. I'd love you to start taking little jobs here and there again, because you love variety and I want you to remember that you are good at saving money. You're great at investing. I'd love you to remember that all bodies you have are good bodies. I'd love you to remember that you have never wasted a single dime of money in your life. You were selfless then, and you still are now. I'd love you to remember that you're smart and blessed and loved, and fantastic at feeling bouncing back and resting. Yeah. I'd love you to focus on your task lists. Break it down, get it done. Because the magic happens when you work your magic, you're good at this stuff. But this stuff, quote unquote isn't all there is to it. Stake folk, stay focused, get shit done, and watch what happens in May, 2020 so that's my letter to myself. Kind of creepy. Right? And like I wasn't expecting that thing at the end where it's like, watch what happens in May, 2020 boom. Like, well. I said it, so something's going to happen. And this is the kind of thing where if you, if you're really in the right mindset, when you sit down with yourselves yourself, and you have this moment with yourself, I think that it's the truth that's coming out. I don't think that when you do these exercises, and even if, even if you're new to it, and even if it feels weird, then it's, it's all real. It's not all in your head. Even if you can't go to work and tell your coworkers about it, or if you can't even tell your best friend that you learned something from your future self, or that you did this weird exercise where you meditated and you got this like serious download of all these weird ideas. Or maybe you're even like into journaling. And you suddenly start writing in, you know, second second voice or third voice and your leg ward that come from what's, what is that like? Believe EDS. These are things that are happening to you all the time. You're always getting messages. You're always being divinely helped. Whatever belief system you have, all of it is working for you. All of it is happening for you, and you have so much support out there. You just have to be. Opens the idea that like maybe the world is a little different than it was when you were younger. Maybe it's a little different. Maybe it's better than it was a year ago or even last month. Maybe certain people have changed and. Maybe you've changed and it's all for the better. So I'm wishing you the most blessed of all 2020s, all year, all year, all month. Um, I hope that you'll stick around and that we can share this journey together. But, um, thank you so much for being part of my entrepreneurial lifestyle and for sticking to your mission. Thank you for doing the the hard work that you're doing and getting your mission out there, getting your message out there and changing lives and doing what it is that you do really well. All right. Again, come in and say hi to me on Instagram. My username again is Rochelle Sanchez, and I would love to hear from you. So if you found this episode helpful, do me a favor, let me know. He can take a screenshot and posted on Instagram and tag me and, um, yeah, I'll, I'll be in touch and I've got some great things coming up for you this year and I'm just so, so, so grateful. So thank you for being here. See you next time.

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